UnHappy

As I sit here in the dark, I think..
My life, my happiness, my pain, my fears, my unknowns. 
Why do I feel this way?
Why am I truly unhappy? 
I had it all.. to lose it all..
Gained it all.. to give it all..
Now I'm stuck here with nothing at all. 
I have learned that in the dark is when I see what needs to be seen. 
Write what needs to be written.. Not just wrote. 
Say what needs to be said.. Not just heard. 
But does it even matter?
Will you hear the dire cries for help? 
Even though you see no tears.. 
Will it even matter that I cried at all?
All of this sits on my  chest as I sit in the dark..
But when the sun comes out, I go back to smiling and pretending.
Pretending that everything is okay. 
Pretending that nothing ever mattered.
Pretending that when the sun falls, that I won't discover me..  
So until the sun rise,
Unhappy is what I'll be..

Fear

 

Fear is soo big of a factor in the heart that it allows the mind to fall from the reality of what really may be. To see the truth threw the lens of corruption and error, and accept it as truth. So tired of broken perceptions that the truth is not longer important. Holding on to the excitement started by the thrill of the rush created by many fictional occurrences. Ignoring all subconscious signs that lead to promise to follow unsecured word play by others. The fear of being alone causes the heart to feel broke in advance sending signs to the mind tell it not to let go. Allowing fear to win without a fight... And we say we fear nothing.

Maybe...

Maybe I didn't tell you I love you enough,
Maybe that's the reason I couldn't force myself to believe it.
Maybe time was too sensitive,
Maybe we rushed to get in to this.
Maybe we should have never been,
Maybe we were just a phase.
A Poor Habit About to Separate Easily.
Maybe in another life we were destined to be,
But in this life I must set you free.
Maybe for us,
Maybe is all it could ever be.

Two young soul stricken by what may be...

Moment for Thought

Close your eyes.. I close my eyes in order to see. I want you to go back to the realm of your childhood... No peaking! I want you to release you mind, body and soul. Your mind is now carefree. You are now in a place where logic and common sense just won't interfere with your vision.. You have escaped all human limits.. Now you can just be you.. No one to judge you.. No one to say no to you.. Everything in this place is just right.. Smell the sweet scent of the untouched flowers.. Just right, huh? Listen to the sound of the ocean.. Let your body flow with the waves. What are your desiring? What are you craving? Just ask for it and you shall recieve it.. So what do you want??

Your Heart

If I can hear your heart crying out.. why can't you. It's crying out for someone.. even if it's not me, but I hear the hurting. Listen to your heart.. Loves a dangerous game.. Don't get twisted up in the directions.. We know the rules aren't always simply, but they're there for a reason.. Just listen before it's too late..

Child Inside

Child Inside Deep down in me there is this child still screaming and crying because of my past. No matter how far I run or how how long I hide.. He always finds me.. But when he find me I surrender and he wins. No matter how far in life I go, it seem like I can't shake him. I want to let him know that everything is alright now and that he is safe.. But I can't. I look into his eyes and I start crying. Crying because I remember that pain that he expressing to me. Crying because I can't make the pain for him stop. This is just one of those things I wont every be able to let go of. No matter how hard I cry or no matter how long I fight. I want to let go, but apart of me doesn't want him to go threw this alone.. Sometimes I just don't know...

Lost

How do I say that I'm lost?
Where do I go to consider myself found?
For a second it seems like I have it all
but in the end theres nothin,
Only dead sound.
From the people that come and go
To those that stick around.
Only to leave when you,
when your "fame" has gone down.
To loved is to be hurt,
As to be hidden is to be shown.
Your name is well established,
But never truly known.
Heart are always given,
To the ones that never show.
That's why love is taken for granted
And some may never know.
My heart dies from my pains,
As my mind further grows.
Why can't they see it?
Why can't they know?
Is this why I'm lost?
Do I not know me,
Or do I listen to all that people assume me to be?
I'm lost...
Where do I find me?